“If you feel your life is at a stand-still, just know that it is preparing you for something great, greater than you could’ve ever imagined.”
Healing yourself is a whole life long journey. It’s a journey with many ups and downs. A journey of trial and errors to find what works best for you. A journey of not just healing health, but healing the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self. Healing all aspects of the soul and core being. If I didn’t start this healing journey with the Medical Medium Lifestyle, I have no idea where I would be, but I am glad I started this journey.
Growing up, I never truly felt like myself. I never felt that I fit in with my friends, family or even society. I never felt I fit in with the career I ended up choosing (only worked at for a couple of years), or the schooling I went through. I just felt out of place from everyone and everything. But I never told anyone that I felt this way. I would always get certain vibes and the vibes I would verbalize when something felt off was that “I don’t think so and so likes me.” I never understood why I was feeling this way. I never understood why I never felt like myself. The more I would drink or party or do what society shows us to do (or is considered normal), I felt even more disconnected from my true self. Most social events I went to, I never really felt like I belonged (only a few of them I felt where I could be my best self). But I still kept going to them, thinking that this event will be the event where I finally feel that I fit in. But it never really happened. I felt I was forcing myself to go to things that in my core, knew that it wasn’t for me. But I push past that resistance to try to prove to myself that I do fit in. But like I said, it never really happened. And I felt even more disconnected when I completely changed my life, for the better.
It’s only been a little less than two years on this journey, but I can’t believe how far I have come. I can’t believe how much I have learned about myself and how much I have unlearned everything I thought was what life was about. It’s hard for me to talk about a lot of things with people I know because they won’t understand me or even listen to what I have to say. I choose to say nothing to most of them and keep myself small. Eventually I know, I will slowly disconnect with friends and family, that don’t resonate with me anymore. I don’t feel like I belong with anyone from my old life, my past self. I feel I don’t belong anywhere at the moment. I’m still learning about myself and how I feel in certain situations. I’m still learning what choices for me are a hard yes or a hard pass. If I feel the slightest bit of resistance, I choose not to do it.
Right now my life feels like it’s at a stand-still, feels stagnant. Like I’m stuck somewhere and don’t feel like I’m moving. Sometimes people like to point out that I’m not doing anything with my life, or it seems that I don’t have any goals or aspirations. Which I mostly think is because I haven’t found something that fuels my passion, my purpose. I know that I have a purpose here on earth, that there is a reason I am here. I choose not to listen to people who think I’m going no where in my life. But I am definitely headed to the best version of myself. Even though I feel at a stand-still, I think I need to embrace this period more, because maybe it’s just what I need in this chapter of my life.
My time is coming and I know I will find my tribe. I know I will find more like minded people like me, as long as I keep doing things that bring me joy. My dream life is here and now and I am working towards it every day. I know future me, a year from now, will be so proud of all that I have gone through and all that I am doing currently in this very moment. I know my past self is incredibly proud of how far I have come. My time is more valuable now than ever before, and I get to choose how I spend it. You too, should be incredibly proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. You’ve made it through your toughest days and are still here, make sure you celebrate that and know that you are never alone in this world. If you feel your life is at a stand-still, just know that it is preparing you for something great, greater than you could’ve ever imagined. Embrace where you are right now, choose to surrender and trust that the universe is always working in your favor.