“I WAS MEANT TO EXPERIENCE THIS INTERACTION SO I COULD LEARN FROM IT.”
This is one of Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements: Don’t take anything personally. And for me, I feel I had an epiphany recently about why I (and maybe most people) take things personally. It took me until now, to really understand this agreement. (If you haven’t read this book, I would highly recommend it!)
Recently, I had a little situation with my mom, nothing big. I over-reacted (but I didn’t really overreact) about getting raw egg on my hands. I mean who even likes to get raw egg on your hand, definitely not me. Since I’ve switched my lifestyle to eating plant-based, I find any raw meats repulsing, it grosses me out even more than it ever had. I stay away from those sections in supermarkets, because I can’t handle the smell or even look at it. I remember raw egg grossed me out when I did eat eggs. So, I was going to take out the trash, when I noticed that the bag had been pushed down to where the garbage was overflowing out of the bag. I had to pull the bag up out of where it was being pushed down. At one point, I noticed there was an egg shell that wasn’t completely in the bag. I decided to touch it and pick it up and put it in the bag. But then I realized my mistake, my hand got sticky and gross from the egg remnants and the egg shell was right on the handle of the bag where you tie a knot.
I was already committed and just kept going with raw egg on my hand to closing the bag. At which point my mom was trying to ask me a question, which I was not hearing because all I could think about was how gross it was to have raw egg on my hands at the moment. So I asked her to open up the back door so I could take this out immediately, while also complaining about having raw egg on my hand. She kept trying to ask me a question about using two bags instead of one and I kept asking can you open up the back door so I don’t get raw egg on anything else please. For me, this where my immediate attention was because I viewed it as a problem that I desired to solve right away so I wouldn’t have raw egg on my hand for too long. But my mom took it as me freaking out and she got mad at me and immediately took the bag from my hand and ran outside to throw it away. She wasn’t listening to me. And for me I couldn’t understand why she got mad at me because all I asked of her was to open the back door for me and I would answer her question when I got back. But she got mad and ran out the door, thinking that I was overreacting and making a big deal out of something. But to me I wasn’t overreacting, I was just trying to think of the quickest way for me to get the egg off of my hand.
Side Note: With eggs, Medial Medium mentions that eggs are the worst food for us as humans and it should be one of the first things we cut out of our diet. Years ago he had mentioned eggs were a good food source but we have been using eggs in the labs to grow viruses and other pathogens, so eggs are not a good food source for us anymore. I know this because I worked in a Microbiology lab, for seven years, and the fact that the flu shot has eggs in it as well should be a huge clue for people that this isn’t a good food source. This is the reason that I was freaking out about having raw egg one my hand.
A couple things I noticed from this situation that I could’ve changed before touching that raw egg. 1.) I could’ve easily put on gloves before I touched the egg shell and the rest of the bag and that would’ve saved me from freaking out too much. & 2.) I could’ve been a little less reactive so that my mom wouldn’t have gotten mad at me and freaked out at me.
My mom apologized for having the egg shell where it was in the garbage and that she wouldn’t do it again. Did she throw the egg shell away? Yes she did. Did she put it there on purpose? No she didn’t. Did she know where it was in the garbage? No she didn’t. Did she have to apologize? No she didn’t. I wasn’t mad at my mom about the egg shell. My mom had nothing to do with the egg shell being in that exact position. What I was mad at was myself for touching it in the first place, when I knew I could’ve avoided the whole situation. I made the decision to touch the egg, my mom did not. But what I ultimately realized after she apologized, was that she made that situation about herself. She took my reaction personally and took the whole situation personally, because she threw the egg shell out. But she had nothing do to with my situation and how I reacted, absolutely nothing. It was ultimately my own fault for touching the egg shell.
I could’ve avoided this situation, but I wouldn’t have had this realization as to why I take things personally. I was meant to experience this interaction so I could learn from it. Most experiences that you have in life, can teach you lessons if you’re willing to learn them. Becoming more aware of how I interact with people and places, situations and experiences has helped me to really become more aware of who I am and who I desire to become as a person living in this world. When have you taken things personally in your life?