Survivor

“THIS IS A GAME OF MANIPULATION WHERE YOU CAN ONLY TRUST YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE. IT’S A GAME OF WHO’S LYING TO WHO?”

If you thought this post was going to be about Desinty Child’s song Survivor, I am sorry but it is not. (But feel free to click the link for the Music Video!) Now, my mom is a huge fan of the show Survivor, in fact I don’t think she’s ever missed a season. The running joke between my brother and I are to call my mom around 8pm on Wednesday nights to interrupt the start of the show. I’m not sure how many seasons there are, I’ve lost track at this point. I personally don’t watch much TV or movies, but one night when I was prepping my juices, I overheard something on the show. It was an interview of one of the contestants, and what they said got me thinking of everything that’s going on in the world. The contestant said something along the lines of “This is a game of manipulation where you can only trust yourself and no one else. It’s a game of who’s lying to who?” And then it hit me. This is exactly the world that we’re living in right now. Now this show Survivor, doesn’t seem like it’s a game anymore.

A little background as I how I got to this conclusion. Recently, I’ve been reading the new Medical Medium’s books Brain Saver, (Click this link to order it ! You don’t want to miss out on all of the amazing info) and listening to some of MM’s old podcast/radio show episodes. (Specifically the Chem Trails episode). In both of them he talks about how we’ve been lied to as a society and how things are going on behind the scenes that we are oblivious too. And honestly after these last two years, if you haven’t woken up yet, I don’t know what else to tell you. We’ve been lied too and brain washed by so many different people and organizations. I mean think of DDT, all the viruses and bacteria that are out there, the toxic heavy metals, the toxic chemicals and fragrances, the processed food that we’ve been consuming, the shows we’ve been watching, that we need to be working in order to live, the chem trails, EMFs, how we’re told the to stay out of the sun or put sunblock on, think of how broken and misinformed the medical system is when it comes to chronic illness, and so much more. I mean I could go on and on about how crazy this world is right now.

It seems to me like we’re all living in one big game of survivor where we’re all being watched, listened to, lied to, and manipulated, and we can’t trust anyone but ourselves. I feel I may not be the only one who feels this way but I’m starting to question everything even more than I already have. I don’t know about you (but I’m feeling 22! (Name this song!!)) but my mind is starting to get overloaded with all of this information that I 100% believe to be true. I’m not writing this post to scare anyone or create fear, but just writing out my thoughts that have been going around inside my head. I know I’ve written a post about some of this stuff already, but everything I’ve thought or even talked about seems to be the truth and not speculation anymore. I am incredibly grateful to have all of the healing tools I need to help myself and my body to heal from all that we’re up against in this world.

I’m realizing how empowered I’ve been feeling with all of this information from MM and SOC and so much more empowered with taking the brain saver shots too. I am still ‘waking’ up to so much more than I even realized, and I hope one day that this planet can live in peace with one another. That we can all come together and realize that we are meant to live in harmony with one another because (technically) we are all one, connected to each other. Yes, there is so much darkness in the world, but there is also so much light, so much so that it defeats the darkness. When ever I started to feel overwhelmed with all of this info or feel myself leaning into fear, I always look to the light, always praying for help and for guidance towards the light. For those of you who feel like you’re struggling with all of this information and feeling like you’re in a state of fear, take it one day at a time. Remind yourself that the only moment that matters is this present moment, the moment right here right now. In this moment you can choose to how to you feel and how you react and your attitude towards everything.

Even though there is so much more that we are not exposed to that is hidden to us, we have the information to help ourselves. Even though I did say this post wouldn’t be about the song Survivor by Desinty’s Child, the lyrics ring true.
“I’m a Survivor,
I’m not gon’ give up,
I’m not gon’ stop
I’m gon’ work harder
I’m a Survivor
I’m gonna make it
I will survive
Keep on survivin'”

Much Love,
CLD

Don’t Take Anything Personally

“I WAS MEANT TO EXPERIENCE THIS INTERACTION SO I COULD LEARN FROM IT.”

This is one of Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements: Don’t take anything personally. And for me, I feel I had an epiphany recently about why I (and maybe most people) take things personally. It took me until now, to really understand this agreement. (If you haven’t read this book, I would highly recommend it!)

Recently, I had a little situation with my mom, nothing big. I over-reacted (but I didn’t really overreact) about getting raw egg on my hands. I mean who even likes to get raw egg on your hand, definitely not me. Since I’ve switched my lifestyle to eating plant-based, I find any raw meats repulsing, it grosses me out even more than it ever had. I stay away from those sections in supermarkets, because I can’t handle the smell or even look at it. I remember raw egg grossed me out when I did eat eggs. So, I was going to take out the trash, when I noticed that the bag had been pushed down to where the garbage was overflowing out of the bag. I had to pull the bag up out of where it was being pushed down. At one point, I noticed there was an egg shell that wasn’t completely in the bag. I decided to touch it and pick it up and put it in the bag. But then I realized my mistake, my hand got sticky and gross from the egg remnants and the egg shell was right on the handle of the bag where you tie a knot.

I was already committed and just kept going with raw egg on my hand to closing the bag. At which point my mom was trying to ask me a question, which I was not hearing because all I could think about was how gross it was to have raw egg on my hands at the moment. So I asked her to open up the back door so I could take this out immediately, while also complaining about having raw egg on my hand. She kept trying to ask me a question about using two bags instead of one and I kept asking can you open up the back door so I don’t get raw egg on anything else please. For me, this where my immediate attention was because I viewed it as a problem that I desired to solve right away so I wouldn’t have raw egg on my hand for too long. But my mom took it as me freaking out and she got mad at me and immediately took the bag from my hand and ran outside to throw it away. She wasn’t listening to me. And for me I couldn’t understand why she got mad at me because all I asked of her was to open the back door for me and I would answer her question when I got back. But she got mad and ran out the door, thinking that I was overreacting and making a big deal out of something. But to me I wasn’t overreacting, I was just trying to think of the quickest way for me to get the egg off of my hand.

Side Note: With eggs, Medial Medium mentions that eggs are the worst food for us as humans and it should be one of the first things we cut out of our diet. Years ago he had mentioned eggs were a good food source but we have been using eggs in the labs to grow viruses and other pathogens, so eggs are not a good food source for us anymore. I know this because I worked in a Microbiology lab, for seven years, and the fact that the flu shot has eggs in it as well should be a huge clue for people that this isn’t a good food source. This is the reason that I was freaking out about having raw egg one my hand.

A couple things I noticed from this situation that I could’ve changed before touching that raw egg. 1.) I could’ve easily put on gloves before I touched the egg shell and the rest of the bag and that would’ve saved me from freaking out too much. & 2.) I could’ve been a little less reactive so that my mom wouldn’t have gotten mad at me and freaked out at me.

My mom apologized for having the egg shell where it was in the garbage and that she wouldn’t do it again. Did she throw the egg shell away? Yes she did. Did she put it there on purpose? No she didn’t. Did she know where it was in the garbage? No she didn’t. Did she have to apologize? No she didn’t. I wasn’t mad at my mom about the egg shell. My mom had nothing to do with the egg shell being in that exact position. What I was mad at was myself for touching it in the first place, when I knew I could’ve avoided the whole situation. I made the decision to touch the egg, my mom did not. But what I ultimately realized after she apologized, was that she made that situation about herself. She took my reaction personally and took the whole situation personally, because she threw the egg shell out. But she had nothing do to with my situation and how I reacted, absolutely nothing. It was ultimately my own fault for touching the egg shell.

I could’ve avoided this situation, but I wouldn’t have had this realization as to why I take things personally. I was meant to experience this interaction so I could learn from it. Most experiences that you have in life, can teach you lessons if you’re willing to learn them. Becoming more aware of how I interact with people and places, situations and experiences has helped me to really become more aware of who I am and who I desire to become as a person living in this world. When have you taken things personally in your life?

Much Love,
CLD

Medical Medium’s Newest Podcast

“I KNOW THAT WE HAVEN’T EVEN EXPLORED ALL THAT THIS EARTH HAS TO OFFER. THERE ARE DEFINITELY THINGS OUT THERE THAT WE HAVEN’T EVEN DISCOVERED AND THESE THINGS MAY HAVE EXISTED LONGER THAN WE HAVE.”

When I was on the date with the guy that I met while hiking, we got to talking about a local legend here called Champy, the Lake Monster and whether we believe in aliens or other beings out there. Champy is a lake monster said to live in Lake Champlain, a 20-foot serpent thick as a barrel, and a head like a horse (Click on the link to read more about the legend). I fully believe that Champy definitely existed, I’m not so sure he is in Lake Champlain now, because I don’t hear of any sightings of him anymore. But maybe he is still in the lake and no one ever sees him. I believe that there are other beings out there in the universe, I feel that there are other forms of life on other planets and solar systems and I feel there is so much that we don’t know about the universe, our galaxy, or even our planet alone. The guy I went on the date with said he had an experience of seeing some sort of UFO, or some sort of space craft when he was traveling out west. He looked down to get his camera out for a few seconds, and when he looked back up the object had disappeared.

I didn’t think much of this conversation that I had with him, until I listened to the new Medical Medium podcast, Aliens: Prophets and Monsters. If you haven’t listened to this episode yet, I would recommend, IF you are open minded and at a place in your life where this episode won’t create extra fear in your life. If you do listen to it, take everything with a grain of salt, be open minded because if these two years have taught us anything, it should’ve been to question everything because it can be hard to decipher what is the truth, what is real information out there compared to all of the misinformation that is spread.

I was excited and didn’t know what to expect from this podcast. On my way to and from work I listened to it. I have about an hour drive, so after the first hour of this podcast, I was perplexed. I was in a state of shock and a little bit of fear from hearing what he had said. I didn’t know how to go about my day when I got to work. I felt out of sorts and was not in a great place to be interacting with people. I really couldn’t believe what I had just listened too, and that was just the first hour of that podcast. It took me most of the morning to get back to myself.

After completely listening to the podcast, I took sometime to really reflect back on it. I realized there were things he mentioned in there that I already knew and it was good to have confirmation. And when I heard things that I knew, I spoke out loud with my thoughts. But there were somethings that for sure blew my mind and really had me questioning life even more than before. I felt speechless and a little lost and definitely had more fear of what might be coming in our future. Someone had recommended to listen to Muneeza’s Live about his podcast, and she really helped me to come back to the present moment and realize that this information is here to empower us. And to know that this podcast shouldn’t stop you from living your life. MM and SOC are here to help us in whatever capacity that they can, they are not here to instill fear into us, they are supplying us with the tools to help us through our life’s journey.

What I can tell you is that Medical Medium hasn’t been wrong, ever. His information helped me to heal myself, and while I still have much more to heal, I am in a far better place than I have ever been in my life. I see more clearly, I have a more open mind, I listen to my intuition more than ever before, it’s been easier for me to tell what is the truth and what is not and I am the healthiest I have ever been. MM and SOC are literally saving lives of millions of people everyday. He posts this information and wrote these books, even with backlash because people thought he was crazy. But he knew that this information can help people. Honestly, with what I know from my experiences with life, his information is the truest information I have ever come across. With this podcast, my take-away is that he is trying to be ahead of what we might be told about aliens (the lies, the gaslighting and manipulation). He is trying to get the truth across before we might be lied too. There is good and evil in this world, in this galaxy, in this whole universe. And with this podcast MM was trying to make us aware of what is out there and what can happen and to let us know that we have the healing tools to help us.

I know I will listen to this podcast episode again in a couple of weeks, now that I feel I am in a better mindset to really listen with an even more open mind and heart. Who knows what the future might hold, but I feel grateful that he put out this podcast. He is helping people and I know he will not stop helping people. I know that we haven’t even explored all that this Earth has to offer. There are definitely things out there that we haven’t even discovered, and these things may have existed longer than we have. Even though this episode was just the tip of the iceberg, it really makes me wonder what else we don’t know and how much is hidden from us. I still have so many questions about everything in this world.

& the crazy part is, I am only alive, here on this Earth, for such a small amount of time compared to how long this universe has been in existence. “The biggest mistake that we make in life, is that we think we have time. We’re in this temple for the moment, and that moment is quick. Billions of years go by and that moment’s quick.” So my advice to you, whatever you believe in, even if you’ve listened to the podcast or not, or if you even made it this far in this post, my advice is to live your life to the fullest, be kind to others and yourself, don’t forget to have fun, do something that brings your soul immense joy and listen to your intuition. Your intuition knows when something or someone is off and doesn’t feel right, don’t push that feeling aside. Your body knows and can feel what is right for you.

If you’ve listened to the podcast, let me know what your take-aways are from it. I would love to hear what you thought about how the information he says spoke to you.

Much Love,
CLD

Dream Life

“THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO BELIEVE AND KNOW THAT YOU’RE ONE DECISION, ONE RELATIONSHIP, ONE MEETING, ONE BOOK, ONE THOUGHT, ONE SOMETHING AWAY FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LIFE.”

Yesterday, after work I noticed a friend doing a live with a friend of his and I decided to hop on while I was in the process of prepping my food. & one of his answers has stuck with me since. He had talked about his time in Hawaii when he lived there and why he’s moved back to the city where he’s from. After 2 years of being there, he lived on a farm, composting, hanging out with plants, eating an abundance of fruit (I’m assuming), being a beach bum, watching sunrises and sunsets. But ultimately he didn’t feel that he was satisfied, or happy. What I grasped from his answer, was that he felt he didn’t have the correct mindset, or a sense of purpose for himself while he was there. (Although, I could have misinterpreted his answer, this is just my take away). He was living the life of his dreams, the one he dreamt about, and now he was there. But it seemed that maybe he felt that it wasn’t what he actually desired. And at the end of his two years, he was running out of money and moved back to his home city to pursue his career now.

I remember when I actually got to talking to him at the Fruitluck, he had mentioned living in Hawaii. And I immediately was like oh my god, did you love living there? I do remember him not being super enthusiastic about it, but I shook that assumption away. Mostly because I was probably talking too much, and I was excited to talk to him. I was immediately jealous, that someone was living part of my dream life, and I desired to know all about his experience and what he learned. But we ended up not talking that much after that initial conversation, so I never got to ask him more questions. When I heard his answer in the live, it made me start to question my life.

Hearing his answer made me start to question the dream life that I’ve been holding onto. When I achieve the dream life that I’ve been “manifesting” will it be all that I desired, how will I ultimately feel, will I even be grateful for it to be here? What if it’s not all it’s cracked up to be? What if I am not enthusiastic like my friend, and what if it isn’t meaningful or fulfilling? I started to have doubts upon doubts of the life that I desire to be living. I started to realize that these thoughts were exactly that, just thoughts, nothing more. Just because that was his experience, his life’s journey, doesn’t mean that, that is going to be my experience. Because my dream is totally possible (and different) and it doesn’t matter what it’s going to be like or how it’ll come to be. But I realized, in order for me to achieve it, I would need to start doing things and putting myself out there, and really start to embody the person I am destined to become.

What I’ve noticed more since keeping up with his story’s, is that he works extremely hard every day to create the life that he now lives, and that’s amazing. I love seeing people succeeding and fulfilling the life they truly desire to be living. It really makes me appreciate and know that I can have that kind of life too (if it calls to me). I guess in a way, it was a little bit of reality knocking at my door, trying to tell me to wake up. In order for me to live my dream life, I need to be doing more and really working towards being the best version of myself that I can be.

This past year so far has flown by, and although I feel like my life is at a stand-still, things are changing every day. (Everything changes, nothing stays the same.) I came across one TikTok that really hit home. It was a little excerpt from an interview from the School of Greatness (My favorite Podcast).

And here is the dialog from it:
– “You’re not as far away from these dreams as you think you are. And I said really dad. and he said No, you’re actually a lot closer than you think. But because you think it’s so far away, you behave in accordance with that belief system and it always keeps it that far away from you.
– How do we bring our dreams closer to us?
– That’s a great question. The first thing you need to believe and know that you’re one decision, one relationship, one meeting, one book, one thought, one something away from a completely different life. & when you know that, then you begin to look for them.”

This one TikTok really put things into perspective for me (since I haven’t listened to that podcast episode yet). That one video or picture you decide to post, that one quick decision to run to the store, or that out of the blue decision to take a trip, every choice we make in life, could change our lives completely. & when you start to think and believe in this way, then you start to realize your decisions and choices are opportunities to change your life. & then you start to believe and know that these choices could be the best decision in your life.

What are your thoughts on achieving and living your dream life?

Much Love,
CLD

Imitation

“YOU ARE AN INFINITE BEING LIVING IN AN INFINITELY ABUNDANT UNIVERSE.”

I don’t watch TV or Movies often but I recently watched Imitation Game on Netflix. And at the end of the movie, it turns out that this movie is based on a true story. It portrays a real life story of legendary cryptanalyst, Alan Turing. The movie is based off of the book, Alan Turing: The Enigma (1983) (funny how I’m talking about enigma again…) is a biography of the British mathematician, codebreaker, and early computer scientist, Alan Turing (1912–1954) by Andrew Hodges. (Maybe the film wasn’t completely accurate, and had a lot of dramatization, but it’s still based on a true story). My mind was blown. That this movie was true? (If you haven’t watched it yet, I would recommend it. I will be talking about the movie on here so I’ll probably spoil it for you. Last chance if you want to watch it first before you find out what it is about!).

I could not believe that Alan Turing, (and a handful of other scientists too, I don’t know their names and I wish I did because they deserve recognition) made one of the first “computers” and that this was kept a secret for over 50 years. The intelligence that these scientists had at that time period, to create this instrument was astounding. If this had been known to the world back then, think about our society and how different our world would be now. I’m not saying I would love to have an even more less connected society, I much prefer to be outside in the sun with my barefeet on the ground. But think of the possibilities of where we could be as a society. (Even though more than ever I feel we need to be connected to our true nature of who we are) Think of the possibilities of where you could be if you go out there and chase whatever it is that sets your soul on fire.

I think the thing that hit home with me, is that things seem impossible until they are done. He knew that he could build something to interpret the German messages from the Enigma machine. People thought he was crazy, but he did it. He believed in himself, and that right there, believe in yourself and you’re half way there to making it happen. How cool is it that they made a computer back then. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Because in this life, anything is possible, you just gotta believe in yourself. Don’t even tell yourself that you can’t do something, because then you’ll put a limitation on yourself. You are an infinite being living in an infinitely abundant universe.

Hugging Trees (this is an apple tree!) is in my DNA.

Go out there and chase your dreams! Even the big scary, impossible seeming ones.

Much Love,
CLD

Dating

“I HAD A REALLY GREAT DATE OF GETTING SOAKED IN THE RAIN, PUTTING OUR FEET IN THE LAKE, TRAIL WALKING BAREFOOT, & HOLDING HANDS, SITTING IN SILENCE WATCHING A RAIN STORM.”

Recently I hiked Mount Mansfield, the tallest mountain in Vermont (up to The Chin) by myself. There were more people than I anticipated when I did this hike on a Sunday, but I was alone for most of the time when I was on the trail. Which allowed me to hug so many trees, haha. On my way back down I usually take my time. Mostly because I don’t want to fall, but I also don’t want to leave nature. I had a couple of people pass me, a group and one guy. I let them pass me because I didn’t desire to go fast. When I got to the end the guy was still hanging out towards the bottom. I was a little bewildered, but I signed out at the post where we signed in. At this point, I still had about a mile to get to the parking lot. He had stopped by an area that was open and you could hear the stream rushing down. Which he asked me if I knew of any places to go swimming around the area. We then got to talking on our way back to the parking lot, and he seemed like a nice guy. We ended up going separate ways once I got to my car, I didn’t even catch his name and I sat in my car and thought of how nice that interaction was.

On my way out, I saw him sitting on the back of his car and decided to stop to ask him what his name was, since he offered me surfing lessons where he was from in case I was ever visiting. We ended up exchanging numbers and he ended up texting me if I wanted to grab food, but I didn’t get his text until I was home. I followed up with if he was still in the area I would be back in town in a few days. At which he said that he was going to still be in the area.

It happened to be down pouring and most of the day was predicted to be raining. We met at a vegan restaurant, and truthfully I’m not a big fan of going out to eat now (because of my lifestyle that I choose). I mostly would rather eat a ton of fruit or make all of my own food because I know how it’s prepared and it tastes infinitely better. I ended up getting a smoothie, which was good and I could still follow my guidelines of how I eat. He wasn’t vegan but said he is open to that lifestyle and had tried it for a month. The rest of the day was just an adventure, and I loved it. I love going with the flow and I usually say yes to doing just about anything (well, not everything here, I’m not that outgoing).

Chips (part of the no-foods) and Guac (my kryptonite). &&& one of my favorite numbers

We did a few different activities throughout the day. When I go on dates, I like to ask so many questions and find out who they are as a person, if I would even be interested in them. He seemed to be a genuine guy who loved to be outside. My favorite thing we did was walk along a trail to a lookout point barefoot. I really love being barefoot but my feet are delicate and I don’t walk barefoot enough to handle the little stones that were on part of the trail. But I really enjoyed walking barefoot along a trail to a lookout point to a view of the mountains and the lake. The sun was peaking through but it was mostly cloudy and rainy. We just stood and looked at the view for a while. We did end up going out to a restaurant later (that wasn’t completely vegan) but I ended up getting some vegan options, which I know for myself weren’t the best, but I gave myself compassion in the moment because I wanted to try to connect with him. As soon as I eat foods that aren’t healing for me, I start to feel low, and my energy changes. Which happened on this date. I just desired to go home and felt I left the date in a weird spot. I did tell him “…to be continued…” but I get the feeling I probably won’t hear back from him again. And it’s okay, I’m just really proud of myself for going on a date, with a guy I randomly met hiking.

I didn’t feel nervous on this date, mostly because I go into things with no expectations, until he wanted to kiss me. (I hadn’t kissed anyone in 2.5 years at this point, I was working on healing myself and isolated myself from the dating world for a while.)

With dating, I have never been into the “hook-up” culture. I always felt that in order for me to fit in with people I’ve been friends with, I felt I have to ‘pretend’ that I was one of them, so I could feel like I was apart of the crowd. I remembered feeling left out for years for not having a boyfriend or not hooking up with any guy. Most of my friends were talking about it all the time and would ask me questions about dating and sometimes would make me feel weird that I wasn’t doing what they were doing. And for years I became ashamed of myself for not being like everyone else and for not being what I would see in TV shows, magazines, and movies. Now, I am proud of myself for being me, because I am pretty amazing if you get to know me.

I don’t enjoy hooking up with someone on the first date, or even kissing someone on the first date. (Unless, I feel I have a deep connection with them, I may go for a kiss). I really value my energy and my space, and for me to share it intimately with a person, I’d like know if we share some of the same values in life. I enjoy getting to know someone personally over having sex with them first. It may sound like I’m a ‘prude’ (I’ve definitely been told that before) because I’m not like everyone else in our culture, but there’s a lot that can happen when you share each others space. You share energies, bacteria and bodily fluids, and if you have worked hard to heal yourself, it’s hard to let someone in who isn’t on your level.

For me now, trying to date someone who isn’t a vegan, is a little bit tricky. One because they don’t eat like me and are surprised that I’ve eaten 20 bananas in a day. (People think I’m overdosing on potassium). Two because, I start to get into my head about when I would kiss someone who isn’t at my vibe. I’ve worked hard to heal myself, and when you kiss someone who has a different bacterial make-up than you (especially if they hook up with other people regularly) you can pick up strains that you have worked hard to clear out of your system. Three, not only that, you pick up their energy and you give your energy to them. There was nothing wrong with the guy I went on a date with, he was kind and sweet and cute and cheesy and just enjoyed sitting in silence with me looking at the lake when it was raining. Honestly, probably one of my favorite dates that I’ve ever been on. Because it was a date that mostly aligned with what I enjoy doing in life. But when he tried kissing me, I definitely got in my head and got nervous. It’s not that I didn’t desire to kiss him, I ended up getting in my head. At the end, I didn’t end up kissing him. I felt he respected my decision, even though I didn’t tell him why.

He did tell me that he was nervous, but I didn’t feel that he was nervous at any point. He also told me that I am intimidating, but I don’t feel that I am. (Maybe I am and I just don’t know). I may be closed off to somethings at first, but you gotta get to know me. He may not have been the guy for me, but I am working on putting myself out there and trying to meet other people. Dating may be different for me now, but I feel that this date helped me understand myself a bit better. (The WFF helped me understand myself more than I realized from the Singles Night Activity). I know myself more than I ever have. I may not fit in with our culture, or with what is deemed ‘normal’ for dating in this society, but I respect myself and my body.

Yes, I truly do hug trees

I had a really great date of getting soaked in the rain, putting our feet in the lake, trail walking barefoot & holding hands, sitting in silence watching a rain storm. I enjoyed every second of it.

Much Love,
CLD

Sunrise & Sunset

“THE BEAUTY OF BOTH SUNRISES AND SUNSETS REALLY MAKES ME STOP AND APPRECIATE ALL OF THE BEAUTY IN THIS WORLD.”

I have always, always, always loved sunrises. I’ve called myself a #suckerforsunrises ever since I could remember. I’ve always been an early bird, always awake before the sun. It’s my favorite time since not many people are awake at this hour; it’s so quiet. I tend to be the most productive at this hour. I’ve always admired how bright it is before the sun even rises. The yellows, oranges, pinks, blues and purples take my breath away. Whenever I visit Maine you can catch me watching the sunrise on the ocean. I think for me watching the sunrise allows me time to reflect on my life. I realize that it is a brand new day full of new opportunities.

But more recently I have been admiring more sunsets than sunrises these days. I’ve been allowing myself to sleep in and wake up whenever my body feels like it. I feel this has been much needed. As much as I love a good sunrise, the more I realize I value a good nights sleep. Sometimes to get up for a sunrise during the summer requires me to wake up at 4 in the morning. Years ago when I was doing Crossfit, going to college full time, working two jobs all while living at home, I would get up a little before 4am to make the 5:30am Crossfit class time, since that was the only class I could make. Now-a-days if my body needs rest, I listen to it and rest. But there are still moments that I will get up for a sunrise, because I still love to watch the sun come up.

Sunset in BTV

Sunsets are becoming apart of my routine most nights (mostly when it isn’t raining out). Every time I watch a sunrise or sunset with clouds, it adds more colors for the light of the sun to play off of. Medical Medium often talks about calling on the Angel of Trust during sunsets. So I’ve been doing just that, calling upon her out loud and watching as the sun goes down. Growing up, I never prayed much, or never really learned how to. It wasn’t until I switched my lifestyle and started really reading Medical Medium’s books was when I started to pray more to the Universe, Source, Light, Angels, or whatever you desire to call what you believe in. In his books he lists 27 Essential Angels, and Unknown Angels as well that we can all pray to or call to in whatever way we feel or need. & for now, I’ve realized that sunsets are just as important as sunrises.

Even though the sun is going down and the light is going away, I start to feel hope. A hope that tomorrow is going to be an amazing day. The colors I see at the end of the day are different than the colors at the beginning. It’s a bittersweet ending to a day to sit and watch a sunset. Just like a sunrise, a sunset brings me back to the present moment. Brings me to appreciate just how wonderful this life truly is. The beauty of both sunrises and sunsets really makes me stop and appreciate all of the beauty in this world, that I can see and admire all of this beauty.

Sunset over Canada

I’ve been fortunate to be able to have this time to heal, to help others, and to take the time to admire the sunrises and sunsets and the stars and the moon and the bright blue skies. It’s been taking me a while to come back to myself, since I moved back to the house that I grew up in. It brings back memories and feelings and emotions that I had living here. I’ve been working through them noticing them, and trying to change the way I react to things. It’s been a learning curve for me to be here, but the sunsets have really been helping me to take a moment to just breathe and realize you are here, right now, watching this and no where else. All of my problems and troubles seem to melt away when I am watching either one.

I hope you get to take the time to admire a sunrise or sunset or both today.

The light is best when the sun rises & sets.

Much Love,
CLD

Nature

“I FEEL PART OF OUR DISCONNECTION TO EACH-OTHER AS A SOCIETY, IS BEING STUCK INSIDE.”

Nature. It’s one of life’s greatest treasures. To get out in nature, to be barefoot on the ground, to listen to the birds, watch the bees, to smell the flowers, and to feel the rushing water on your feet. Nature is where we are meant to be, where we thrive.

I feel part of our disconnection to each-other as a society, is being stuck inside. Most people are stuck inside all day, from doing an 9-5 job, then we’re in our cars commuting (if you have to commute) to and from that job, just to come back home to stay inside to eat dinner, to sitting on the couch watching TV or scrolling through social media on our phones. I know for years I was stuck inside in school, college, at a job, and then to come home to sleep in my bed inside. Most people aren’t enjoying being outside. I am outside while I write this, but I am still on my computer, not completely connected to nature.

**Side Note of a memory that popped into my head that made me smile. Years ago when I first joined a Crossfit box, I was going to the 5:30am class time (because that was the only time I could make in my busy schedule). To give some background, this time in my life I was going to college full time, TA-ing two courses at the college, working 2 part-time jobs, going to Crossfit 5-6 times a week, while driving back and forth from home (1 hour total driving a day). I never looked at the workouts before class because I knew I would pick and choose what classes to go to. It was better this way because it allowed me to be able to work on a lot of movements that weren’t my favorite. Anyway, early one Spring Time morning, running was in the Warm-up and for the Workout. At 5:30 that morning it was 30 degrees Fahrenheit (-1.11 degrees Celsius for the rest of the world), pretty cold, and we ran outside. Once I had entered the gym and people saw me, I knew I couldn’t leave after I saw that we were running outside. The workout must’ve been for time, with running 400meters for each round to total 1 mile. (With the warm-up we ended up running 1.5 miles) Although at the time I was not thrilled with running outside in the cold, we did warm up fast with all of the other movements in the workout. WIth this being said, I loved the fact that any gym I Crossfited at made sure we worked out outside if it was nice out. I don’t think places like LA fitness or Planet Fitness allows you to bring the equipment outside, so you’re stuck inside working out. I am really grateful for being apart of a gym that utilizes being outside in the fresh air, if the movements allowed for it. (AKA if we were doing pull-ups, toes-to-bar etc. we would at least have to go back inside for those movements.) Not sure why this memory came up, but I am really glad that it did so I could share how crazy the people in the North Country are haha**

Anytime I feel disconnected with myself, I make sure to go out into to nature and ground myself. I make sure to come back to the basics of living here on this planet. Nature is truly a gift and can help change anyones mood. Even going out for a walk outside can drastically change your attitude or just being in the sun for a couple of minutes brightens my mood. “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” by -Lao Tzu is a quote I know I’ve used here before. We’re always in a rush, always needing things fast, and then we get angry when things aren’t fast enough, but if you step out in nature and watch what goes on, you’ll see everything is at it’s own pace, nothing is forced. The animals are walking around, the birds are flying, the bees are going from flower to flower. Nothing is in a hurry, and yet it all gets completed.

There is no need to always be on the go, because you’ll exhaust yourself and need time to recharge. Take every day, one day at a time, and just be fully in the present moment not thinking of what you’re doing tomorrow or what happened yesterday. I think nature helps us to realize that everything is okay, that everything will work out and immediately brings me comfort and a sense of peace. I always feel much better when I get fresh air and take some time to do grounding and meditate out in nature. I hope you find a couple of minutes everyday to be outside in nature, because it’s much more powerful than we realize.

Much Love,
CLD

Woodstock Fruit Festival

“BECAUSE WHAT IF IT’S THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE EVER MADE IN YOUR LIFE? BECAUSE WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE? BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW, UNTIL YOU TRY.”

This time last year I was looking at all the videos and pictures of everyone having the most amazing time at the Woodstock Fruit Festival. Everyone glowing, living their best life while eating an abundance of high-vibing fruits and vegetables. I was incredibly jealous and decided to buy a ticket right then and there. The funny thing was, I didn’t realize how close the festival was to where I was from. But little did I know what I had gotten myself into.

I kept this trip a secret from everyone I knew. No one I personally know eats the way I do or lives my lifestyle (Until I met people at this Festival). I’ve had people tell me I’m in a cult, that I’m not getting enough protein, that I eat too much sugar, and the list goes on about people criticizing me on my lifestyle. And as it got closer to the week of the festival, I realized I was starting to have some anxiety and not sleeping much. I started having so many doubts creep in saying things like “You don’t know anyone going, no one is going to accept you, or what if no one likes you.” I tried not to listen to those thoughts because I knew they weren’t real. But when I was driving to the festival, those thoughts hit me like a brick wall and I felt scared and started crying. But I knew deep down that these were just thoughts, and I drowned them out with my favorite music for the trip down. I was still scared driving up to the camp, but once I stepped out of my car, I immediately felt that this was going to be one of the best decisions I had made over a year ago.

If you know, you know. #durian

One of my favorite memories I had was when I was hiking. On the way up to the top, I spoke with a man named Dennis, and boy did the conversation help me in more ways than I realized. Everything we spoke about really resonated with me to my core and were great reminders of that I am exactly where I am meant to be and that I am on the path I am meant to be on. One thing that he said, which I have heard a lot but it truly didn’t hit home until he said it. It was something along the lines of “You need to do the things that scare you, because that’s where you’ll learn the most about yourself and what you’re capable of.” (If you’re ever reading this Dennis, Thank you for that Hike! & I hope your business you’re starting, the school, is going amazing!!). After the hike I tried to take it all in and tried to understand where my fear was holding me back from doing things that scared me. Although, this told me I still have work to do with myself, and to work on things that scare me more. (Like going to this festival). Because what if it’s the best decision that you’ve ever made in your life? Because what have you got to lose? Because you never know, until you try.

Our view from the Quarantine/Sick Cabin that my cabin-mates and I stayed in for the week.

Words cannot express how grateful I am for the experience. The people. The people are the most compassionate, amazing, welcoming, open, and LOVING people I have ever met. I truly felt so much love from everyone. I am so grateful for all of the friendships I have made, all of the volunteers, and everyone who puts this event together. There were dance parties every day and I loved it. I did yoga, went for a hike, played volleyball, participated in a ton of meditations and breathing practices, made sure to go to the campfires for the music and to gaze at the stars, always made sure to get fresh coconut water, participated in the Dead Sea Mud Party, and I swam and played on the big inflatables on the lake. It wasn’t just a festival about fruit, it was about connections and community and so much more. The one thing I took away from this week is just how much I learned about myself. I started to break down my walls and open my heart to total strangers and showed up as my authentic self. The people here didn’t judge me, they accepted me for who I truly was and I am so grateful to have experienced this and realize there are more amazing people I have yet to meet.

The best Cabin-mates I could’ve asked for!

I could go on and on about how amazing this festival was. If this kind of festival seems intriguing to you, you should 100% check out The Woodstock Fruit Festival. I’m still running on the high from the festival, and I plan to keep it. I didn’t want the magic to end, so I ended up traveling down to the city for the Fruitluck that they were having in Central Park. Luckily I have friends that I allowed me to crash at their place in the city while I could go hang out with more people from the festival and exchange fruit and to meet more people from the festival.

NYC Fruitluck!

Life is a journey. & this Festival has made my journey even more enjoyable. I have never received so many hugs in my life from so many amazing people, and I’m already missing all of the hugs. I am so grateful that I took the leap of faith to go to this festival. Doing things that scare you, doing things that are outside your comfort zone, really makes you feel alive. & if I keep with this feeling of the things that scare me, really help me to grow and learn about how strong I am and that I can do anything in my life. I have to push past the fears, doubts and negative talk. Because it’s okay to be scared to take that jump into the unknown, because it means you’re doing something right.

Until next year Woodstock,
Much Love,
CLD

Your Purpose, Passion, or Whatever it is that Brings you Joy

“WHEN I FOLLOW MY PASSIONS MY PURPOSE IS REVEALED.”

-Shannon Kaiser
Find Your Happy

Recently I’ve been seeing a lot of videos, pictures, reels, and TikTok’s of people talking about their purpose, or how to find your purpose. And boy does this life feel overwhelming and daunting once you step into the unknown and haven’t quite figured out what your purpose is. Seeing others who have found their purpose is humbling and amazing to see others thriving in their lives. It makes me grateful to know that I can have that life too.

What it really comes down to is you, the person reading this (or me, the one writing this) are the creator of your own reality, your own life. You make the decisions, choices, and actions with whatever aligns with you. You get to choose how you desire to live your life. And once you start to realize this you can start to make decisions that align with who you are.

I still haven’t found something that feels meaningful for me yet, but I am working towards it every day. I have so many people asking why I don’t have a job, why I am not working, what’s your next move. And truthfully it’s because I don’t want just any ‘job’. I desire to do something that feels meaningful, something that brings me joy every day. This period in my life, looks nothing like what I thought I would be doing. Walking away from a comfortable lifestyle, into the unknown, uncomfortable of not knowing if I will be okay not working, uncomfortable not making an income while I am taking this break, not knowing if I can afford all of my supplements and food, all while trying to find myself and who I desire to be.

As I am writing this post I am outside, admiring the bright blue sky, the birds flying around, the film scores that I am listening to, and the sun shining bright. Just being grateful to be here writing my thoughts out, having the ability to move, walk, see, taste and feel. Grateful for being alive. I am so blessed to be here, helping my mom out when she needs it, getting to spend so much time with my mom and getting the time to work on healing myself.

If you are working yourself, going through a healing journey, or trying to find yourself, just know you’re not alone. I see you and I know how hard it is to be in this position. I know that there is something out there for all of us. We’ll find our way through this life that we’ve been blessed to live. The universe is always working in all of our favors, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. Know that the universe will never put you in a position that you couldn’t handle. Keep the faith that you are are the path you are meant to be on, and that you can handle whatever life throws at you. I believe in you.

Much Love,
CLD